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Do you ever get annoyed at trying to figure out a title? I do. OK OK.....rant over.





If you don't want to hear how good I am doing....do not keep reading. If you want to feel depressed? Read in September.






















I am sitting on my couch, writing on my blog, sipping hazelnut hot chocolate and cuddling my puppy. All the lights are off except those from my Christmas tree. It is beautiful in here. I love it. I love my home.

I went to the psycologist today. I have been going weekly for the last few months. It has been amazing. I don't know if it has been so good for me because I am so stinkin' stubborn and was demanding a change in my life or if she is really that good, but I am doing good.

It was funny. She was asking how the last week has gone and I was "well, we went to the in laws for 5 days and that was tough, and I lost my job and unwanted/hurtful relatives came to my house for a day and night, and I had to cancel a vacation that I have waited months for....." at this point she interrupted me and was like "why are you smiling?". I stopped for a minute and thought....huh. It was really crazy! I realized that I am not drowning. For the first time in my life, I am not drowning. I am setting boundaries. I am taking control. I am starting a new path. I am doing good. I am getting healing. I am not getting more depressed. I am doing it! I AM SO FREAKIN PROUD OF MYSELF YOU CANNOT BELIEVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have spent the last 20+ years of my life in a complete funk. I am pushing through it! I am fighting for me for a change. I am not going to be that person. I am going to stay strong.

My doc was so proud of me. "You are a completely different person from when I first met you. You have come so far and deserve it. You have worked so hard to get here."

I don't think she could have made me happier at that moment.

I am good.

I am going to continue to sit here. Sipping my hot chocolate. Watching the Christmas tree lights. Cuddling with my dog and smiling.


P.S. Yeah God! I am doing it!