I change my underwear 2 times a day

and other oddities.

Like the really old picture? It makes me laugh.  I miss my glasses though!

I have struggled a lot over the years with my identity.  This sounds odd to the people that know me but to the people that are really close? Maybe not so.  I think I have figured it out though.  Where this issue came from.  I had a brain aneurysm when I was 18 and when I came out of it, I felt like everyone around me wanted me to be the same.  There were so many physical issues that had changed and it felt like people were clinging to the old me.  Yes things still changed, but I made a conscious effort to try to stay the same for my families sake.  I know my mom especially could not handle me changing too much.  Life was all chaotic and she needed the norm.  I would not be surprised if all my family felt that way but didn't realize.  

The problem with this situation? at 18, you start to change naturally! You develop different tastes in things, new hobbies and habits and you figure yourself out.  Do you remember the scene in Runaway Bride when Richard Gere makes her eat all those types of eggs so that she can actually figure out what she likes? I feel that way.  I have never shared this problem with anyone.  This year? Amongst all the chaos of my life? I have decided to try to figure me out.  And it has been entertaining.  I am finally admitting some of the oddities that are part of my daily life that I have tried to keep hidden from people.  So here we go.  I am about to admit a few of them to you.  Bare with me.  This is not easy.

• I actually do change my underwear 2 times a day.  In the morning and at night.
• I am an organized hoarder.  I pick an item.  Hoard it until it is ridiculous and then stop.  Pick another item and start the process again.  Items in the past have been mustard, socks, purses, cookbooks, icing sugar, toothbrushes and shampoos and conditioners.  Currently? Cases of bottled water.  These items don't make sense but this is something I do.
• I use Bic old school pens.  If one has a cap on it when I go to use it, I bend the cap three times, the place it on the top of the pen and line up the long piece with the words on the bottom of the pen.  If it is not lined up? I have a hard time using it.  I will straighten other peoples pens.
• When I enter a grocery store, I have to walk to the left first.  Even if I come in on the right hand side of the store.
• I need my office to be clean.  Not a paper out of place.  Yet I have most of my filing cabinet not even in alphabetical order because it annoys me to have things so organized.  This one makes Husband laugh.

This is all you get today.  This list is making me feel a little weird.  But? That is ok.  We all have our things.  I just actually started writing mine down!

Things I still want to find out about myself:

• my sense of style
• what music I like
• home decor.  This one I am finally figuring out.
• what makes me happy
• who I am as a friend, sister, wife
• and more other areas than you can imagine!

I will keep you updated on what I find out! Time to go eat some more eggs.....