I am going to.....

DISNEYLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO, I decided that I am going to take today for me. For my mental health, but in a happy world. I am going to Disneyland. I am not going to read any books, I am not going to think about why I am here. That can happen tomorow. This all starts tomorow at 4:00pm, so why not just enjoy today!

So, I am heading to the big ol Disneyland. It is 9:30 right now and I am still in my PJ's but that is ok. I am in no rush. I have no schedule. No one is waiting for me. I am going to go have a shower, get dressed in a cute little skirt and shirt, load up some money, hop in the rental and go check this place out on my way to the park. There is a theater there as well, so I think that I might hit up a movie tonight!

I woke up this morning in a good mood. I keep telling myself that I am strong. I can do this. I have nothing going on for 8 more days except me. Myself. I. I can do what I want, when I want with no one counting on me for anything. I can be happy or sad or angry or excited and it doesn't matter! I can just be me!

So, today, I am going to spend time in Toon Town, which is one place that husband would not go. I am going to eat the weird food, watch the parades, watch the odd shows and go on only the rides that I want. I think that I spend too much time thinking about what everyone else wants and not enought time thinking about me. This might sound really odd, but I do this. I am not talking about becoming conceited and arrogant, I am talking about standing up for what I want. What interests me. I am setting boundaries. I am still going to try to make people happy (my hubby) but I think that that is also something that I love to do. I AM going to start thinking for myself. The decisions that I make for me.

This is a weird concept for me. I am not sure how this will go. I think that I am going to struggle. It is sad, but I actually phoned a few people yesterday to ask what I should do today. WHAT THE FUH IS THAT!!! They are not here. They don't care!

So here we go! I am going to go get ready for the day, grab a pumpkin spice latte to drink on the drive and I am going to go see Mickey Mouse.

Talk to you later!

P.S. Does anyone actually read this thing? It is about to get really interesting. I am going to use this as my journal for the next week. So, if you don't want an internal look into my brain and my thoughts, I might skip reading for the next week or two!