October

So, I have decided that I don't like this month.

I know, I know. Everyone loves fall. I usually do too! Except this year, fall decided to end before this month. It sucks. I hate it!

I hate the weather. Seriously world! What is with this? Figure out what the hell you want and get it together!!!!!!

I hate the temperature. Do I wear a sweater....do I wear a jacket....do I wear a long sleeve shirt....do I wear a snow suit with gloves and scarves and the whole nine yards. I am chilled, I am hot, I am dry, I am wet.

I hate the clouds and the rain and the huge changes in temperature. I broke my back when I was twelve and have really bad arthritis in my hands. Such lovely issues to have in such huge weather changes. Can't sleep. Can't survive all this !!!!!

Ok, ok. I am done bitching. All done.

This month isn't all bad.

This is the last whole month of husband working non stop.

This is the month that I get to start dreaming up all the things that we will do all winter.

This is the month that I get excited to cook. Every year at this time. I try new recipes like crazy and buy really weird groceries. I love it. So do a lot of the people in my house.

This is the month that we have thanksgiving. The holiday where we sit back and eat too much food and spend a lot of time thinking about all the things that we are thankful for. Some years are good and some are bad. There is always something to be happy about though.

This is the month that my youngest niece was born. She is great! I love that kid to death! She is a complete monkey with an attitude a mile wide and she lives in her own little world. I wish that I could live there with her some days. I am lucky to be her aunt.

This is the month that the days get a little shorter and the nights a little longer. I wake up when it is dark and eat dinner when it is dark. It is kinda weird and cool all at the same time. It means that in summer, we get insanely long days. Light at 4 am till 11 pm. Nuts! But fun.

This is the first October in the history of me that I do not want to be dead. I am excited to be alive. I am on a journey to healing and I am so excited!!!!!!!!!!!! I am happy. I am feeling lethargic and have no energy and no motivation and feel like I am in a slump. But.....I am happy. I am smiling a lot and thinking of all the good things.

October.