Internalizing some stuff and it is causing some major health things.
Worked a 12 hour day at the restaurant and am exhausted.
Fell down my stairs, all 17 of them, all 17 hard wood stairs and bruised myself in a major way. Body all siezed up and hurt like hell. Ass/hip are black. Actually black. Not sexy in any way.
Tomorow is a bad day. 2 years since mom died and I am having a hard time dealing with it. Funny thing, when you forgive her and move on, you all of a sudden really miss her and want her around.
Have to work all day tomorow.
Found out today that the old job is not paying us a thing. Not even the money that they legally owe us. We now have to go to the labor board and sue them.
Land is sold. We can breathe for the next few months.
Cleaned out my office of the last 5 years today. Stole a shelf. Made me happy. I know, I know. Should not have done this. Well deal with it. I also used my fuel card for my entire trip to BC and loved every penny that I saved. Seriously. They can take it off what they owe me. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! How funny am I. Had a hard time removing all my stuff. Kinda wierd. Boss hugged me. Wanted to slap him. Wierd mix of emotions. Bonus? I don't have to do the year end and left everything a huge mess to piss him off. Again. Not mature but I said I would finish it all if they paid me and they didn't so there.
Wow. My maturity level tonight is amazing even me. Time for bed. And muscle relaxents. Must get up early. Work at home on books from 8-10 banking 10-11 store actually working 11-2 shopping for store 2-3 lawyer meeting 3-4 back at store 4-10. Long day. Tiring day. Lots of driving day.
Maturity level still not up to par. Should probably take my smelly fat immature ass to the shower and then to bed. Need sleep. Need a day off. Need a date with a friend.
I will leave you with a pic of my super cute dog. Is she not the funniest looking thing ever?
2 comments:
Aww, sorry Dawn. Falling is not fun! I only went down 2 carpeted steps, ended up on crutches. But Hardwood, 17! Crazy that you didn't break anything!! I lived off Motrin and Tylenol the first week! Hoping you heal soon. Don't worry about your maturity, it'll come back! Right now you're just mad, maybe if you get your money owed you that will get better too:)
Is there anything you liked to do with your Mom? Maybe do something to comemorate(sp) her. 2 years is not a very long time. This November was the 15th anniversary of my Dad's death, I remember the day before, and was really the day of (not on purpose) and didn't remember again until a few days later. Missing him now adays doesn't always co-enside with the day he died, or even his birthday anymore. And it doesn't carry the same weight of heaviness either. When I miss him I just think to myself "You would have really liked this Dad" "This kid would have totally made you laugh" "I really miss you right now" Little things like that. So grief does get easier and time does heal some. But it's Christ that does the complete work of healing, and it takes time, and allowing yourself to feel the way you feel:)
I think what I'm trying to say is, just like your bruises, it won't always hurt this bad. It does get easier, eventually.
I love you!!oxox
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