Insomnia.....and plastic surgery.....

I have insomnia. I hate to sleep. I never go to sleep easily and wish that people didn't actually need sleep to survive. It drives my husband crazy. It is 1:33 a.m. and I am typing this and watching tv. I should be in bed. I have to wake up early. Tomorow is a big day! Husband and I are starting a cleanse. We are going to do it for 12 days. That is the plan. Then we are going to eat for a few weeks as we are going on holidays. I know, I know. The cleanse probably sucks. It is probably unhealthy. I am doing it anyways. I need to lose weight so that I can sleep again.

I have tried it all. I have had personal trainers, I have worked out up to 18 hours a week, I have followed every diet out there (being Celiac, they are hard to do), and nothing works. People cut out the dumbest things in the world and they manage to lose weight. I don't drink, I don't eat fast food, I don't eat desserts, I don't bake, I don't snack, I don't eat breads or anything like that....and I am fat! Husband is starting to realize it as well.

He cannot figure out why I don't lose weight. I lost 55 lbs and then just hit a plateau. I am doing pilates now, and swimming and hoping that these help. We will see. I am not thinking that they will work either! So positive, aren't I?

I am actually considering plastic surgery. I am considering having liposuction and a tummy tuck. I found a doctor in Vancouver that looks good. I am not even sure that I would tell anyone. I would just go on holidays and come home a lot skinnier.

I want to sleep. I need to sleep. I feel like I am getting sick and cannot figure out how to change this pathway I am on. I try the hot bath, the routines, the sleeping pills. Nothing works.

I need to go to bed. Oh, yeah! I got my first comment! Only two people know about this blog, that I know of, so if it is one of you? Thanks. Leave a name!

Later.