Sunday, January 31, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
I needed this. No, let me rephrase this. I wanted this. I wanted this as a confirmation that we were supposed to lose our jobs and that this was what we were supposed to do. That this was going to be good year. I am so frustrated.
Husband is so grumpy right now. He is not working and is spending a lot of time bored. He is watching a lot of tv and playing a lot of video games and playing with his helicopters. He will not help around the house, is only working a few shifts a week at the store and is really mean to me! He is just grumpy and taking it out on me right now and I am finding it really hard. I can't take it this time.
I don't know what to do and to top it all off, I am sick again. Definatly the stress and I know that, but it is annoying. I came home from work early today because I could not stop puking and then headed to the health food store to find some good stuff to make my immune system stronger. I am now taking a lot of pills!
I need to be healthy. I want to know what Husband is going to do for work this year so I can start breathing again. I need to be healthy!!!!!
I hate being sick. Can you tell? So, tonight, I sent the Husband to work and am sitting on the couch watching tv and trying to keep myself awake until at least 8 pm. If I go to bed too early, I will just wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to fall back asleep.
Please pray for me. Pray for patience and health and sleep and answers. I am feeling incredibly discouraged right now and do not want to sink into this depression again. I have been doing so good!
I need to get healthy, clean my house, do some bookkeeping and just really concentrate on my mental and physical health.
Yes. This is what I need to do.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
- Made lasagne last night for dinner. I make amazing lasagne. Husband told me that he is becoming a lasagne snob.
- Played the board game "Pandemic" too many times this weekend. Hopefully get to play it again tonight ;)
- Finally went through all the bedding/pillows/sheets in our house. Threw a lot of it out. Kept some, bleached some and spent some time organizing it all.
- Spent an amazing afternoon with Husband ;)
- Am watching Glee and enjoying it. It is so corny but hilarious and I love all the music.
- Have to work all week. Shorter shifts than last week though and that is nice as I have a lot of bookkeeping and other stuff to do.
- Feeling okay today. I am still a little rusty after being sick for so long. I am just not completely back yet.
- Husband is obsessed with his helicopters and planes right now. He is in the shop as we speak building his second one. His first one is amazing. I will post a picture one day.
- Found a blog counter. It is cool now to see if people are actually reading this thing.
- Spend a wonderful weekend with the Husband.
- Wanting to see some movies in the theater. I think that I might go a few nights this week. We will see!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
I hate it! No. I should tell the truth. I am tired. I am exhausted and it feels good. I am sleeping good and actually enjoying all my time there.
I think that it will be good.
Tonight was good. Husband and I went on a date. To a new restaurant in town that was romantic and secluded and it was awesome. We just sat and visited and enjoyed some good food. We then came home and just relaxed. It was nice. I don't remember when our last date was. It was so nice. I think that I am going to make this a weekly thing. Or at least bi-weekly.
Wanna hear something stupid? Husband got a small cheque from our previous boss, about 1/25th of what he owed us but it was at least something to help us pay our bills. Yup. Tried to deposit it. Dated for March. Seriously? Are you kidding me? This is insane. What a jerk. I am going to the labor board this week. This is insane. We are doing okay with it all though. Husband is slowly coming out of his funk.
So, at the end of this month, beginning of next, we are supposed to get some really big news. It is cool news. I will tell you more later when I know some answers. We were talking last night that we should probably celebrate. So, what should we do? Should we throw a party? Should we go away for a weekend away? Should we just say YEAH and do nothing? It is big. Really big. No. It is not kids or anything. But it is big for us and our family.
Wow. This could be the most random blog post ever. Oh well. I don't mind.
Time for bed. I am exhausted today and have to work again tomorow morning :) Extra early morning. Order comes tomorrow so it will take more time to get everything done.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
I do. Most years. I am doing mine this month. I figure they are either really early or really late! I am sending out 20. That is how many cards I have. I have also printed only that many pictures.
Do you want one? Do I know your address? I will send them if you want them. Let me know.
Today was a good day. We sucked and skipped church. We slept in and then got up and I did a lot of bookkeeping in order to get my life under control again. It worked!
We then went to town to go to the movies and realized that it was sold out. We are now going tonight. We are going to see Avatar. The boys have already seen it but this is my first time. Not that excited. I hope that it is good. I hear that it is!
This will be a good week. I am doing a lot of work. I am at the restaurant 8 hours a day from Monday to Friday. It sure feels funny to be on a set schedule again. It is kinda wierd. I am not sure yet if I like it or not! At least I am the one controlling the schedule so I can do what I want. I think it might also be nice to be able to schedule stuff due to the fact that I actually have a set schedule. We will see.
I just read on facebook that a friend is pregnant. They have been trying for about 8 years. AMAZING! I am so excited for them. I am glad that we have a good God and that he has blessed them like that. Could you guys all pray for them that the pregnancy goes really well? Thanks.
I am sitting on my couch right now, staring out at the snow and wishing I had a tropical vacation in my near future. I hope that I get another one one day. Husband and I are talking about saving some money and hopefully this Christmas we can do something again. Time will tell! We have to find the husband a job first. And hopefully one that can pay enough that we can still afford to travel once in a while.
I should go. We are leaving soon for the movies and I need some dinner first.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Internalizing some stuff and it is causing some major health things.
Worked a 12 hour day at the restaurant and am exhausted.
Fell down my stairs, all 17 of them, all 17 hard wood stairs and bruised myself in a major way. Body all siezed up and hurt like hell. Ass/hip are black. Actually black. Not sexy in any way.
Tomorow is a bad day. 2 years since mom died and I am having a hard time dealing with it. Funny thing, when you forgive her and move on, you all of a sudden really miss her and want her around.
Have to work all day tomorow.
Found out today that the old job is not paying us a thing. Not even the money that they legally owe us. We now have to go to the labor board and sue them.
Land is sold. We can breathe for the next few months.
Cleaned out my office of the last 5 years today. Stole a shelf. Made me happy. I know, I know. Should not have done this. Well deal with it. I also used my fuel card for my entire trip to BC and loved every penny that I saved. Seriously. They can take it off what they owe me. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! How funny am I. Had a hard time removing all my stuff. Kinda wierd. Boss hugged me. Wanted to slap him. Wierd mix of emotions. Bonus? I don't have to do the year end and left everything a huge mess to piss him off. Again. Not mature but I said I would finish it all if they paid me and they didn't so there.
Wow. My maturity level tonight is amazing even me. Time for bed. And muscle relaxents. Must get up early. Work at home on books from 8-10 banking 10-11 store actually working 11-2 shopping for store 2-3 lawyer meeting 3-4 back at store 4-10. Long day. Tiring day. Lots of driving day.
Maturity level still not up to par. Should probably take my smelly fat immature ass to the shower and then to bed. Need sleep. Need a day off. Need a date with a friend.
I will leave you with a pic of my super cute dog. Is she not the funniest looking thing ever?
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Started living for me and started healing my life
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't usually do New Year's resolutions but I do lists of things that I want to do that year. The financial ones were done, some of the travelling and the healing ones.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My best friend had a little girl and ...... I think that is is?
4. Did anyone close to you die?
5. What countries did you visit?
Many Canadian locations and Las Vegas...so I guess the USA
6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
A heck of a lot of money and more time
7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
A lot of blur but September 19-27? in Laguna Beach was amazing and November 9th telling us that the company we worked for was shutting down. Big life changes with that one little meeting
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Paying off a pile of debt and my personal mental health improvements
9. What was your biggest failure?
Physical health and a lack of personal time for a lot of the year
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I found out I have Poly cystic Ovary Syndrome and had a whopper of a cold/flu over Christmas for three weeks
11. What was the best thing you bought?
A wii? I don't know. Did not buy a whole heck of a lot
12. Where did most of your money go?
Paying off debt.
13. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Paying off debt! and our trip to Terrace
14. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier! Probably the happiest I have been in years!
b) thinner or fatter? Fatter I think. Good ol health problems!
c) richer or poorer? Richer, in life, happiness, and actual net worth, huzzah! other than the loss of the jobs. We will answer this again next year!
15. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Cooking and gardening
16. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Eating and working
17. How did you spend Christmas?
Relaxing in Terrace with amazing friends that we love a lot
18. Did you fall in love in 2009?
I think so. There have been some struggles this year and we are working on fixing them. This year will make or break us. It has been 14 years. I know that we will be OK. I just need to work on me a lot more!
19. What was your favorite TV program?
No real favorites. House, The Mentalist, Castle, Private Practice, Grey's Anatomy. I actually don't watch any of them on TV, I but the box sets later.
20. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No, I am actually dealing with a lot of that and am enjoying the happy feelings instead of the anger.
21. What was the best book you read?
I have no idea! I read about 5 books a week, so figure out how many that is! I cannot choose from all of them.
22. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Chris Tomlin concerts. Went to two and loved them.
23. What did you want and get?
A lot less debt and got it. A good friend and got that too!
24. What did you want and not get?
A trip to Seattle. Less weight. A busier business so that it is easier to pay bills!
25. What was your favorite film of this year?
I am not sure! I loved the one I saw tonight! It was "It's Complicated". Very funny. I loved it. I guess that is for this year though not last year!
26. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 29 and worked a really long day. My staff bought me flowers and Husband forgot the day. Went for lunch with a friend and ate dinner at home.
27. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
The continuation of our jobs, more time with the husband, and perhaps not the terrible cold over the holidays would’ve been nice…
28. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Comfy but more feminine and cuter than usual. Loved my hair this year and actually got a few compliments on how I looked! LOVED THAT!!!!
29. What kept you sane?
Good friends and a chance at a holiday in the future. I live for those.
I stole this off another blog that I read and am going to do this every year. It is kinda fun! Hope that you guys are all having a good day and hey, make sure you leave some comments so that I know that you exist!
Friday, January 1, 2010
That is insane! This means that I am going to be 30 this year. I will have been married for 10 years. I will be 30~ Did I mention that I will be 30?
Small midlife crisis. You know how it is. For whatever reason, just because you can't have kids? It does not mean that your baby clock stops ticking. This sucks. It means that I have to constantly remind myself that I cannot have babies. It is OK that I am almost 30 with no kids. I am not behind. I AM OK!!!!! Weird conversations happen in this brain sometimes.
SO, 2009. What a year.
Some key points, good and bad:
- Finally started healing from a lot of hurts. This came with a really hard year where a lot of things finally reared their ugly heads and made me notice them.
- Went to an amazing conference in Laguna Beach called "Ultimate Leadership". Amazing. Helped the above start!
- Found out that I am stronger than I thought and that God has not completely abandoned me! HE ACTUALLY LOVES THIS SCREWED UP PERSON!!!
- Made some really good new friends. This was a good thing this year and really needed. And these are not just surface friends. Some of them are turning into really deep friends that I hope are around for a long time.
- Things at my business went a lot better.
- I started really enjoying cooking again.
- Went on a few trips. Terrace (twice), Banff (twice), Las Vegas, Edmonton, Calgary and a few other little trips to visit family. Had a blast on all of them.
This was a year full of struggles, including losing my job recently, and triumphs. I am really looking forward to 2010. I am going to make it a good year. I am going to work hard at my business and watch it grow, I am going to love me and my body, I am going to love Husband a lot more, I am going to keep my house cleaner and cook more and just spent time with me and friends and stop caring what other people think. I will probably not do much travelling (due to loss of job) and I will probably not plant as many flowers or shop as much. I will lead a simpler life and I am going to learn to love it. It is a challenge to me that I am actually looking forward to. I am still at a friends house. We have been here for two weeks. We are loving it. In two days, we will start our trek home. This year is going to include a lot of changes and a lot of interesting things that we will deal with as they come. This will be a good year.
And I will be turning 30.