I hate today.
Strong words. I know.
I am not a mom. I wanted to be. The choice was taken away from me due to health issues and adoption is not an option due to health issues/stupid rules/money. I never like this day every year. It reminds me that I am not a mom. No one is making me breakfast in bed. No one is saying "I love you mom!". No one bought me a card. I don't know. It just reminds me every year that I will never have that.
It also sucks because my mom is not here anymore. When she was alive, at least I had something to celebrate on this day. Now? Not so much. SO, today I am going to skip the Mom service at church, I am going to go shopping and buy some new clothes, I am going to hang out with Husband and just relax. I am then going to have a bubble bath, light some candles and read a book. It WILL be a good day. I will not be sad, I will not dwell on what I do not have, I will smile and love my life and avoid looking at small children at all costs! It is good. I am ok.
Now to convince my heart of that.......
3 comments:
I thought of you today <3 Hope it turned out to be a pretty good day, after all.
There are never words good enough to say at times like this. Grief, despair, hopelessness...so many feelings and never anyone who quite knows how you feel! Know that I love you...and I'm thinking of you today!
I love you Dawn!! xoxoxo
Tomorrow is a new day<3
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