Me. That is all.

Things I have learned in this first month of parenting a teenager:

I know.  Sexy right? This is how I look these days.

• It was a good thing I started with gray hair
• I love to torture teenage boys.  In good ways.  I assure you.
• Teenage boys stink.  Bad.
• I need ME time more than ever.
• I need to figure out more balance for me and Hubby compared to US time.
• Get it all in writing.  All of it.
• Teenage boys can go a whole day without eating due to stubbornness and not even die! Really! I am not even joking!
• I might have been in the middle of losing my mind before this all started but I am sure now.
• The support I thought we would have (friends and family) is not there.  The people that you least expected have shown up in major ways.  Most of them strangers.  Sad but true.
• Teenage boys become obsessive over silly things
• I am one of the most stubborn people I have ever met.
• I have cooked more meals in the last month than I have in the last 6 months.  Can't afford to eat out with a teenager in the house.
• The things you think are cool? Are not.  Unless you are Captain Awesome aka Husband.  Then you shit diamonds and wear capes.
• An iPad with games in the back seat is the sanity of life while driving in the car
• Boys stink.  Have I mentioned this?
• Just when you think you are having a good day? Jekyll and Hyde show up.
• Your walk in closet in your master bedroom (it has a window so is pretty) is a wonderful place to escape.  He doesn't look there and I can pretend to not hear him.
• He will always take Husbands side.  Keep your discussions about yourselves to yourselves.  I understand that it is not fair that I get the iPhone 5 at some point but Captain Awesome doesn't need it!!! And he is ok with me getting it first! And so you don't need to tell me 10 times a day that it is unfair that I get all the cool things and I am cheating him out of the things he wants.  He is a big boy! Really!
• No matter how many times you tell a boy that he stinks? He doesn't care.  For some reason? It is a good thing for them.  Something to be proud of!
• That there are good times mixed in with the bad and the horrible which make it all worth while.

Friday 5: Good and Bad

 Good

1. I went on a date with a friend and had Pinkberry.  I had the original with strawberries, kiwi, cap'n crunch cereal and almonds.  It was yummy.  And the date was a lovely breather too!

2.    I got to bring home my fun pottery! This was one of the things I made.  Was supposed to be a candle holder but seeing as I don't like to follow rules, I made it a queen bee in her hive with a man that she kidnapped and is holding ransom.  Hes.  His arm is nasty.  Yes he is crying out for help.  My instructor when she finished laughing congratulated me on my creativity.  And then asked how old I was :) It makes me happy.

3.     I got a quite a bit of work done.  Had two amazing meetings and a phone call that encouraged me and made me feel better about the business that I own.  I am now looking forward to the next 5 years!

My 82 year old grandma on her cell phone.  Can I just say how funny it looks to me? And no.  She doesn't dye her hair.

4.     I made salad for lunch and or dinner 3 days this week.  Amazing salad.  Load with goodies.  My favorite so far? Lettuce, chicken, corn, avocados, radishes, tomatoes, orange pepper, jack cheese, banana peppers, and balsamic vinaigrette dressing.  So yummy.

5.    That Husband is coming home today :)

Bad

1. Big Red had a horrible week.  Which meant I lost my temper a few times and felt overwhelmed a lot this week.
2. Husband was gone all week.
3. I had horrible sleeps and woke up each night  between 3 and 5 and couldn't fall back asleep for hours.
4. Due to #1 I missed out on a lot of business stuff that had to happen this week and now I have an insane week next week.
5. I felt sad a lot this week.

AMAZING

I LOST 4 LBS THIS WEEK!!!!!!!!!

No more Mister Nice Guy

Remember that song?

My last button was pushed this morning.

And it was pushed hard.

I gave an inch? He took 14 miles.

No more.

Welcome to Mean Auntie

You are not here for fun and games anymore.  This will be the hardest year of your life.  Figure it out.  No more second chances.  No more fun and games.  None.  When I tell you that you have to be up for school and ready to start at 9am? You will be ready.  At 9:01 you will be getting a bucket of ice cold water thrown in your face.  Yes you will.  Can't keep your room clean? Funny thing.  I can clean it for you and you can pay me for every item that you want back.  This could get costly.  Don't want to do school work with me? Husband is more than willing to do it with you all weekend.  That means early mornings and long days of school work and no fun.  You want treats? Earn them.  You don't like that food? Starve.  Nice Auntie is not working and you have officially pushed her too far.  Things are about to change.

Harsh? Probably.

Necessary? Absolutely.

Pray for strength that I don't kill him this week.  Not joking.

Mini meltdown

This handsome man had a hard evening.

Husband is leaving tomorrow for 5 or 6 days.

We have been talking about it for over a week.

He realized it all of a sudden and had a melt down.

Poor kid.

So in love with him.

It is hard.

I want Husbands time right now due to the fact that I will miss him too.

But I have walked away.

Husband and Big Red are playing games together.

Alone.

Having fun.

Making sure that Big Red knows he is loved and cared for.

Having talks about behaviour for this week.

And I am alone.

Folding laundry and thinking this 10 months is going to be a lot of me giving.

My time.

My energy.

My Husband.

I will adjust.

I will be ok.

I have had him for 16 years already.

But I am jealous sometimes.

Of the attention he gets.

Big Red.  Not Husband.

Please pray for me as well as him this week.

We will both need it.

I win!!!!!

Today? has had its moments :) Big Red had a physical today which went really well.  The typical...lose weight, everything else is looking good and work on the bed wetting.  Really???? That is all you got? Working on it all.

For a treat for doing so well (these kinds of things make him a little twitchy) we went for lunch after.  So much laughter happened! It was amazing! I had him giggling so hard at one point he could barely breathe! I was trying to get a picture of him and this is what I got.  Isn't he handsome?

This is the best I got.

Can I just say the use of hair gel is making me smile? We have told him he can style it how he wants.  Too funny.  You should see the things he does!!!

So after lunch, I locked him out of the car and yelled DANCE out the window.  Does anyone get that?

The poor child.  This could be a long year for him!!!

The Orange Room and Waiscotting

Finally! Right?

Life around here these days is all about finding balance.  How to balance a child/teenager full of angst and needing more attention than you can possibly imagine.  How to balance my business during the day while trying to home school.  Trying to balance cooking/me time/tv/time with Husband on a daily basis without going crazy.  I have decided to keep the cleaner.  That is a saving grace right now.  I have also started the meal planning again and am taking it very seriously.  I have watched one hour of tv in the last week.  And have dates often during activities for the kid. (kid goes to boxing? We go grocery shopping and sneak kisses in the isles) Romantic? Not so much.  But needed none the less.

I have also had to put all house projects on hold right now while trying to find balance in all the other areas of life.  But? I did finish the paint at least in the orange room.  Husband and I were talking that maybe this weekend we will go around and do final touch ups on things so at least they are all done.

Here it is!!!!!

The color is Tandoori by Benjamin Moore.  These pictures do not do it justice.  I can't seem to get a good photo!

We have not decided what to do on the wall behind the couch for color as it is the wall that will connect to the main floor.  And no.  The lamp is not staying there or a lot of the other things.  Nothing has been set up yet in that way.  It is just kind of done right now.  Enough that we can use the room!

I love the texture of the wainscotting. I love the shadows! And yes.  I was watching old tv :)

A little closer to the true color!

We started with a template that we cut out of paper and a lot of sanded/cut/ measured  5/8th inch MDF

Here is our template.  As soon as one section (below) was done, all the big areas just continued.  I made the template to have all exact measurements (6 inches, 10 inches, etc) and all the middle pieces are 2 inches in width.  We used the template to fill the small walls.  We just moved the template over the wall until we found a section we liked! Then traced it and re cut the wood to fit.

This was a huge project but I am in love with the finished product.  This room was all this plain builders beige and with flat boring walls.  I am so in love! The paint is so warm and cozy.  Big Red even commented last night on how much he loves this room.  I can't wait to put up art and actually finish the room! And the coffee table? Martha Stewart from Canadian Tire.  The top is two pillows that you can take out and flip upside down to be a solid surface.  We usually have one side pillow and the other solid to hold remotes and a coffee cup or two.  There is also the storage beneath that we like.

So there.  It is finally done! Ask any questions you want.  And yes.  I would do this again in a heart beat! We actually have plans to do down the stairs with it as well.  Maybe in spring!

Work and life are making me crazy~

Life? Crazy.

Work? Crazy.

I went on a business trip to Vancouver last week which resulted in no posting! And maybe my life is imploding right now too.  Just sayin!

View from my hotel room in Richmond

Life is ok.  Big Red had a hard day today.  He started his home schooling and it is a huge adjustment that I am thinking is going to drive me crazy.  He is not so good at the reading instructions thing so I get asked questions every 45 seconds.  Screamed from the other room.  Lovely as it sounds.  I promise.  Just to go over there and point out what he needed to read! This will be a long year at this rate.  Oy.  He also started his counselling today.  He was terrified.  Went ok but he also lied about taking his medication in the afternoon which caused some issues that we did not realize until bed time.  Boxing? A gong show.  Misbehaved until the guy had to kick him out and make him sit out.  They are so supportive of him and want him there so bad and so they are working on it with us.  I could not ask for a better situation at all.  When we arrived to pick him up, he was sitting outside the gym talking with two older gentlemen that want to work with him next week.  God is seriously lining people up for this year to help him.

Tomorrow I am with my business advisor all day and so he is on his own.  We will see how that goes.  I am planning to work with him hands on all day Wednesday on his school work so that I can make sure he is going through everything that needs to be done and not just lying about it or fluffing through. Wish me luck! My dad and the step mom arrive Thursday evening.  I hope it goes ok.  I am feeling so mentally tired these days that I am afraid I have no filter at all! This could be interesting.

We also went to a wedding this last week.  Here are some photos from the last week of our lives!

So pretty

Where I spent every evening on my business trip!

Nephew made us muffins!

Hanging on the beach in Vancouver for a work meeting! I wish I could schedule those more often! And check out how long my hair is :)

The wedding.  With the most unhappy bride I have every seen!

Pretty centrepieces.  They had more jars with ritz crackers and carrots in them.

Where I found our dog this morning.  She waits for us to come home!

Overall? Life is pretty good.  I just need more sleep.

Speaking of.....

And I promise to clean my room long enough to photograph it soon!

Lesson #485

Things that will make your life easier at Bootcamp (my house according to Big Red)

• Don't refuse to eat a meal because you are being a stubborn shit.  Pretty sure I take the cake when it comes to stubborn.  I will eat anyways.  Where I want, when I want.  You will starve.  I will cook bacon (your favorite food) in your presence and moan while eating it all to drive you crazy. When I say if you don't smarten up and eat now you will not eat till dinner, I actually mean it.  No treats, no juice, no milk.  Nothing.  You get water my friend.  Oh, did I just bake fresh cookies? That sucks.  Oh, you sweet boy.  You ain't got nothing on me when it comes to stubborn.  When will you learn.....
• Don't refuse to do chores.  Why? Because I will not give you allowance! And then I will add more chores to next week! And you will miss out on mini golf, and treats and fun days with Uncle because you are stuck cleaning toilets!!! YEAH!!!! Smart move muffin.
• Don't lie about what you are looking at on the computer.  Why? Cause we are smarter than you!!! We are spying on you and can block anything that you look at.  That groan I just heard from the other room? I am guessing it is because more pages are blocked.  Will we confront you? No.  Not yet.  But I am sitting in my office right now looking at your screen.  I dare you to try to get away with anything! Silly boy.  You are up against an Uncle that loves you too much and wants to see you get better. 

Life in our house these days is chaotic.  I am slowly learning to deal with it all.  We had a rough day last week, but so far this week? It is good.  I am finding that if we start the morning with a list of things that he is going to do that day, it helps.  I have created a custom schedule for him.  I print it off Sunday night and give it to him.  It lists each day and what has to be done.  From activities to chores to helping with things.  There is also a list of things to do if he gets bored.  He knows that asking me for something to do results in work! and so he has gotten amazing at entertaining himself.

My niece.  Isn't she hilarious? I love her little diva look.

A few lessons we are working on this week.

• using a knife.  Your hands are lovely and we love them but really? A whole slab of roast beef with your hands? I am thinking spaghetti with a soup ladle as punishment in the future :)  I am pretty sure you also don't need a bite the size of your fist on the end of your fork.  Guessing he will be sick of hearing the words "use your knife" pretty soon.  It is getting way better though!
• cooking.  He helped make dinner the other night and last night helped make chocolate chip banana muffins.  He is starting a cookbook.  He wants to be able to make a full days meals for his family next time he sees them.  It is his big surprise for them.  Don't say anything Jill!

The start of the cookbook

• cleaning.  He is now sweeping and washing floors, emptying garbage cans and recycling, keeping his room clean, doing his own laundry every day, cleaning a bathroom.  He is in charge of all the dishes.  He is emptying and loading the dishwasher every time.  
• beverages.  He is drinking water, milk, steamed milk, and almond milk.  No pop.  No juice.  This was a huge adjustment for him.  Like crazy huge.
• vegetables.  He is eating them!!!! Last night he had a huge portion of carrots, broccoli and cauliflower.  The night before he had zucchini.  If he wines? He gets more.

He is doing good.  Today we are starting at the gym.  I am thinking I might sit out.  I have horrible cramps.  We will see.  I am hurting bad.  I might go swimming instead.  He also has boxing tonight so I am not sure he will survive a whole day of working out.  The poor kid is pouring sweat walking up the stairs! We are glad he is here though.  He gets his first company next week when my dad and grandparents arrive.  He is planning on making them dinner and breakfast shakes.  He is too funny.  I hope they appreciate it.

Now I need to go clean my orange room so that I can finally photograph it for here!

And the smell!

Dear Lord,

Hi.

How are you?

I hope you are good.

Quick question.

Did you have to make body odor in teenage boys?

And bowels?

Really? Cause I am pretty sure in my humble yet correct opinion that you didn't have to.

You could have saved all parents a lot of grief by just getting rid of them from 7-18.

Just think about it for next time, k?


Thanks.


Love ya,


Guardian of a walking piece of rotting flesh.... I mean a teenage boy,


Me.

Parenting a 13 year old

that is not your actual child.


What the hell were we thinking? No, I am not regretting my decision to take in my nephew for a year.  There are just adjustments I have to make.  Mentally and physically.  I am feeling like I have put so much energy and time and thought into this in the last month, had no sleep, done crazy house projects, gone on a much needed road trip and hardly seen Husband and I feel burnt out today.  I fell asleep before 8 tonight and was so happy to have this amazing night and then was woken up.  No ones fault, but it happened and now I am awake and thinking.

For those of you that don't know, my 13 year old nephew moved in with us Friday for the next year.  He is going through "Boot camp" in a sense.  I will not get into his past and his hurts, but he needs some help to say the least! Physical, psychological, spiritual, etc.  My sister was doing amazing but I think it was just too much.  Husband and I offered to take him in order to give them a break to help their other kids (all adopted with crazy stories) and in order to focus hard on him.  We just love them and want to do anything to make them the most amazing, functional family ever!

Yesterday was fine.  A friend and I picked him up and started the long drive home.  Had an evening of setting up his new room which I will post pictures of soon and just settling in.

This morning after breakfast, we went over chores, rules, bedtime, and a whole lot of other things.  He seemed to take it all pretty good.

A few funny things so far that have made me stop and shake my head:

• the bomb that went off in the bathroom while he was in there.  It is going to be a daily fight to keep this house clean but I informed him today that it is my house and he will keep it tidy.  I am sure this will be like pulling teeth!
• the non stop talking! OH. MY. WORD.  How does the kid have a voice left at the end of the day? Seriously? My ears hurt.
• the entitlement.  "Auntie, this chair is fine as long as you get it recovered.  I'll let you know what I want." Um. No.  "I want the writing on the expensive hat I just chose because I am not willing to cut my hair but just a minutes while I look at crazy expensive pictures to put on it as well." Um. No.  "Can you just make me something else? This is kinda weird" The term suck it up comes to mind :) "What juice are you going to buy me to take my pills with?" The clear stuff that I pay the city for.  They even deliver! Right to the tap! 
• talking as if he knows what he is talking about! "the Toyota truck is so much better for off roading  than this one Uncle.  Really.  Smoother ride and better traction." Um, hun? You are 13!!!!! Your parents don't even own a truck! Where the hell did that come from!!! "On my racing game? It is way better.  You should get a different truck"  Funny statement from Husband today "We need to get something straight.  I am not willing to argue reality vs game with you.  Unless you know if for real? Don't want to hear it."
• I'm bored.  Funny thing.  Auntie doesn't care! Part of this year? Learn to entertain yourself.  See that huge book shelf? Start reading.  Oh, and there is dog poop to be picked up.  And floors to clean.  And dinner to make.  Oh and then there is laundry to fold and put away.  Please.  Tell me you are bored all the time.  After two times today? Stopped mentioning it and entertained himself.  I think he is scared of me :)
• Yes.  You do have to shower.  Yes.  You do have to brush your teeth.  Yes you do have to eat at the table with us.  Yes.  You do have to do what we say.

This is not a complaint.  Please don't take it as one! He is awesome and we will enjoy this year.  I am just needing somewhere to vent my days.  And this? This is the spot.

Things I am going to struggle with:

• the small amounts of time with Husband are no longer only mine.  He wants his attention as much or more than I do!
• no peace and quiet.  Ever.
• having to make real meals three times a day.  And not on my schedule.
• the smell of a teenage boy
• structured schedule
• arguments.  We don't argue in our house and so they grate my every nerve!
• cleanliness
• watching what I say! Sometimes a girl needs to drop the f bomb.
• lunch dates with friends and gym dates with friends
• feeling off stress at what this year is supposed to be
• feeling of not being able to do it
• have I mentioned lack of Husband time?

Him beside his favorite car in the mall today

I will be ok.  I am just struggling today.  I am tired.  I am cranky.  And the last month caught up to me at about 2 o'clock.  Tomorrow? I need to sleep in late whether that means skipping church or not.  I need to sing loud worship music in my office or somewhere in my house.  I need to go to see the flowers at the Muttart.  I need some yummy food.  I need to breathe.  I need Husband to cherish me and take care of me and make me feel good.  

I should try this sleep thing again.

Oh, on a side note? The bonus room is done!!!! The wainscoting was completed early Friday morning and so was the amazing paint color.  Post to come soon :)