Wednesday, November 9, 2011


One thing I never thought I would deal with was a parent dating.  I was one of those lucky kids whose parents stayed together.  When my mom died, they had been together for 32 years.

Now she has been gone for almost 4 years and Dad is dating.  He has had one serious girlfriend that did not end well (good riddance!) and another one of 5 dates that just fizzled out.  That one he did not even tell us about.

He has now been talking on the phone to a lady for the last 6 months.  He is visiting her right now to see if there is anything there.  She is actually one of my moms cousins.  Figure that out!

He will be at my house with her tonight.  Yup.  I get to "meet" her.  Not in a "hey! There is yet another relative and I forget your name?!?" way but "hey! You might be dating my dad in the future or you already are (he is talking to her about it tomorrow on the 6 hour drive here) and you could potentially end up in my life in a major way.

I am kinda nervous.

I want my dad to be happy.  I want him to find love again.  I want him to find even more than he had before and that is not in a bad way, just a good thing.  I want him to grow old with someone by his side.  And to tell you the truth? I would not mind a mother figure in my life again.  I want my nieces and nephews to have a grandma.  I want him to be happy.

Why am I so nervous?

I feel kinda selfish to be honest.  I have a very peculiar relationship with my dad.  We are very close and I love it.  I talk to him every day at least once and if there is something wrong? He is the one I phone.  I am worried that our relationship will change.  What if it changes for the worse? What if he completely falls in love and forgets us? I know that this is all irrational, but what if?

My dad and his toy.  Isn't he cute?


Jibberblog said...

I understand. My parents were married for 28 years before they divorced and she ditched us for the east coast and eventually a new husband and kids. She would disagree with several of those statements, but she's also delusional. Sorry, tangent.

My dad is also dating. He always claimed to be a 'chick magnet' and I knew he was dating quite a lot in the last few months, but we've finally met Cathy, his girlfriend. It is totally weird, but not in a bad way. It's something you never expect your parents to do - date new people, so its a weird thing to witness. My dad is all touchy feely with her and they cuddle and its totally grossing me out, but at the same time I'm incredibly pleased that he's able to connect with this person. That the struggle of that divorce didn't break him.

You'll get used to it - however it turns out. Treat her like a friend of your dad, and then however the relationship turns out, it'll be ok and if she turns into a mother-figure, that's great too.

Dawn said...
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Dawn said...

That is crazy! About your mom. I just found out she is actually staying at my house for the next few days. I think it will be good. I will let you know! And hey? Thanks for commenting!

Jibberblog said...

Wow, staying at your house, that seems big. He must really like her :) That could be lots of fun. I can't even remember how I found you..but I'm here every day. Your NaBloPoMo comittment is stellar.

Heather said...

Grampy had an old (like 60+ years ago, pre-Granny) girlfriend over for tea yesterday, and then I drove her home. I don't know if they're thinking anything remotely romantic, but it still kind of bugs me. At the same time, I *know* he needs friends, because he just doesn't have many around anymore. Anyway, it was weird and I kind of wanted to ask her intentions on the way home :P

Jill said...

YOu need to email me a photo! PLEASE!!!

Dawn said...

She is cool. Spent the day with her. Jibberblog? He does really like her. Separate rooms and everything! She is actually my deceased moms cousin so we have known her for awhile. Not well though. She was just another face at a family reunion.
Heather! I feel your pain!!!!
Jill-She would not let me take a picture. I will try to find one somewhere